Notes on Spain...

Dear Woman on a Recovery Journey,

Ever have an experience of creating something with a theme, a taste, a resonance in mind…and it takes on a life of its own and morphs into something quite different? Maybe the exact opposite? I’m sure you have. I suppose it’s part and parcel of any creative process.

I’m on the other side of my Expand Beyond Recovery: House of Light Mountain Retreat in Spain and the experiences are completing themselves. Aside from sharing a few pics, I haven't fully expressed what came forth and what was integrated. I knew I wanted to save that for my journal. So here I am and here's what I'm noticing...

Since returning home, my sleep is akin to velvet. Soft and lush, luxurious and rich. My REM sleeps feels slightly a little decadent, to be honest. This is amazing because I did NOT sleep well in Spain, and that is unusual for me. Sure, there’s the first-night-in-a-strange-bed experience which most retreaters know well. But it extended beyond that for me. I was wide awake at 11PM every night, probably partially due to jet lag. Any sleep that I did get seemed to happen in short bursts. I set and woke to an early alarm every morning for meditation and yoga. There was one glorious sleep-in morning but aside from that I was seriously deprived.

Another awareness...since returning home the universe continues its moving of sign posts on me (this pretty much sums up my 2026). I’m letting myself be lead. More on that, down below!

19 women attended my nine-day Expand Beyond Recovery retreat at the House of Light, a Moorish-inspired retreat center in the Alpujarra Mountains. I’ve never been to Spain. I’ve not even been to Europe so this was a big deal for me! I’ve hosted retreats around North America and in Central America, but a seven-hour flight across the Atlantic Ocean is a whole different retreat. The combination of border crossings and new travel rules, Euros, language (the “thhhh” pronunciation of Spain Spanish), coupled with the logistics of retreating somewhere I had not set foot upon, had me relying on my years of planning experience and the philosophy of “hey, we are recovering women changing the world so everything HAS to go our way!”

And it pretty much did. The European heat wave roasted us a little more than we would have liked, especially those bunking in the Yurts. They were more like pizza ovens during the day. We did learn a new way of cooling bodies at night: take the empty bottle of the large sparking water bottle we had on hand, fill it with tap water, freeze it and voila! You have an ice-water -bottle to go to bed with! Thank goodness, there was a salt water pool to hang and cool down in every day. We spent some of our afternoon yoga classes being led in Aqua fitness and yoga by the amazing Rebecca (best-pal, yoga-teacher, sparkly redhead). We splashed and laughed and squealed and sang as Rebecca led us through the paces – a little something she learned as a dancer on the cruise ships. (I’m sure we were just as rowdy as those cruise ship participants!)

The mountains that surrounded the Retreat Center - the Alpujarra Mountains - are absolutely majestic. Alpujarra loosely translates to Sierra of Pastures or Grasslands and the terrain leading to and from the mountains is absolutely that. Dry and desert-like but blooming with purple and pink flowers, rosemary, thyme and lavender, their perfumes literally hanging in the air.

Historically this area was the final stronghold of the Moors in Spain after the fall of Granada in 1492. And you can see those influences everywhere in the design and architecture of the buildings. We visited the stunning Alhambra Palace for a day and wandered around Granada, taking in the sights and sounds. One of our themes for this retreat was this: recovering women belong in sacred spaces. I felt that deeply in Spain. And I felt the connections and the sense of belonging with these women.

Traveling also always reminds me that I belong and love being at home too, with my home-people and pets, the sights, smells and sounds of my day-to-day life. Yesterday in my Sunday morning Tabata class, my first class back, I felt tears welling up in my eyes during the warm up. There I was, with my gym community, lifting my knees and kicking my feet out, doing those same six moves I've done every week for the past few years. It felt so good to be back.

Circling back now, to sign posts and allowing myself to be lead instead of forcing my way through all the doors: picture my usual MO while trying to "move forward". My determined, squinting eyes and my head-lamp piercing the darkness, praying that I don't find something I don't want through that next door. That's so 2025. In 2026, I am firmly in the spirit of allowing. And good things are happening...because I am allowed to have good things happen, right? Here are a few...

My son's care when I am away on retreats has been formed and solidified. The curious question of whether to host a Spain retreat in 2027 because where would Greyson go...has fallen away to reveal the answer. (It's a resounding yes!)

A few of my own practices that I've put on hold are awakening and calling out to me: this morning, in the park across the street, barefoot on the grass, I guided myself through the Five Element Qigong, shapes of Dragon, Tiger and Crane. I decided not to care if anyone was watching me. And now moving with the understanding of energies at play in my life, the yin and the yang. Balance has always something to strive for but on a more surface level. Now I feel rooted in in my awareness of what I am holding and what I'm releasing. A balanced life is not always possible. But a balance in energies is certainly worth practicing.

Speaking of energy, my yin-retreat-baby, the Expand Beyond Recovery La Anita Rainforest Jungle retreat November 7th to November 14th has a few privates left due to some shifting; also some shared doubles and triples if the roommate experience calls. (I can attest to the magic of roomies, and the cabanas at La Anita are spacious; also a little less expensive!) This 7-day retreat will have us planted in the lush jungle of Northern Costa Rica, surrounded by volcanos, colourful wildlife, and plant life that seems to live and breathe in sync with us. Oh and there's also the cacao...aka chocolate!

As mentioned above, I'll soon be launching registration for my 2027 House of Light Retreat Mountain Retreat. Which I'm now referring to as my yang-retreat-baby. (I have fraternal twins!) Why "yang" you ask? Because...fire, open sky, air & ether, dry and mountainous, sunny, energetic, vivid...that IS this retreat.

Also on my calendar are a few of the SHE RECOVERS retreats (Quebec, Maine and Texas). You can learn more about those HERE.

Stay tuned as well for news of my Fall online programs which I'll be launching soon. You'll hear about it here in my newsletter and in my Expand Beyond Recovery Facebook group first! (Please join me there if you are on Facebook and haven't already!)

Happy "Summering" to you! I hope you enjoy every moment, all that nature brings to us at this time of year, and the big, beautiful life you have created!

Much love,

Payton