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When Life asks for Less
Recovery, capacity, and trusting the path as it unfolds. Today is Tuesday, February 17th. A regular, old Tuesday in the month of February…or something more? Today is a new moon in Aquarius. And a solar eclipse. And a shift in the Chinese Zodiac, from Year of the Snake to Year of the Fire Horse! The latter transition alone, is all over social media, interpretations speeding in both directions, messages for the individual and the collective. I’ve had this date marked on my cal
4 min read


Notes in Darkness and Light
Another year is coming to a close. I see the light peaking in from underneath the door. A hint of something new, like a wish turning over in its sleep, bedclothes rustling. The sound of awakening. If you've been around in any of my spaces, you know I love nothing better than a fresh start. I've had to temper this desire over the years as it's had me abandoning creations before I got to the actual creating. Starting over is a practice that's served me well. .. in most cases. T
4 min read


My WOTY, Full Circle ⭕️
Recovery is such a journey! I've been on this one for 13 years, 11 of them sober and when I look back and see the path, it's amazing to think I had NO IDEA how I was going to live my life without alcohol. I had NO IDEA how to cope with life...how to be in relationship. When I reflect on the last 13 years, I see all the growth, the choices I've made, the sparkly breadcrumbs I ended up following, the times I said "HELL, YEAH" and the tears - the work, the toil, the discomfort a
2 min read


Field Notes
It's been a while since I've offered up any of my usual writing on recovery and life...even my website app is reminding me. "It's been...
5 min read


How do you see yourself?
There are a few common themes woven through the experiences of recovering women. Women recovering from "all the things" as we like to say...
7 min read


20 years ago...
I gave birth to my baby boy. Well, I was supposed to give birth. That wasn't in the cards for me. Greyson was almost 9lbs and my...
5 min read


Don't FREEZE! Leaving the winter of my discontent...
It’s the second week of March and I am sitting at my desk in front of the window on the second floor of my townhouse, taking in the...
5 min read


Courage, My Dear!
Oooooweeee! It’s been a CRUNCHY winter so far! Where I live? SO. MUCH. SNOW. And the sound of it under my winter boots, the iced-locked...
5 min read


All My Heroes are Middle-Aged Women
I graduated high school in 1985. 40 (yes, 40!) years ago. I’ve tried to recall what 18-year-old Payton thought her future would look like...
7 min read


Expanding Beyond Recovery in Costa Rica: with guest blog by Jennifer Shea
It's been just over a week since I landed back at home from hosting my retreat at La Anita Rainforest Ranch in Northern Costa Rica. I'm...
4 min read


Riding the Waves of 2024 (and finding your feet)
I’ve been riding the waves lately. But not in the way I used to. For much of my life, I’ve been the person on the heaving boat, hurled...
7 min read


The Song of the Wise Woman
I’ve been thinking a lot about self-compassion lately and have come to the realization that for most of my life, I’ve avoided it. Why?...
5 min read


What was I made for?
A dear co-facilitator and friend gave me a card at a recent retreat. It says: Fill your lungs up with life and repeat after me: I am...
5 min read


The Days of our Sober Lives (and what I do when life is on fire.)
My son wakes up at either 2am, 4am or both every night. Each time I guide him back to his bed and tuck him in. He is up again at 6am and...
5 min read


The Power of Reframing Perfectionism
Perfectionist. When I call this word to mind, my body tightens up. When I say it, I enunciate every syllable. I stand straighter and my...
6 min read


Empowering Yourself with the Power of Words
I have always been a lover of words. Stories, poems, lyrics…the power of words has been visceral for me at times in my life. I remember a...
5 min read


When It's Time for Something New
Detail from my recent "snake collage", created on retreat. Change is such a multi-level experience. I thought I’d rolled around enough in...
5 min read


An Ode to Creativity
This weekend, after a period of intensity in my life, I felt some spaciousness. I moved, I danced. I found myself in the present moment....
4 min read


Number Nine and Lessons Learned
The August air is starting to feel a little cooler. The summer light and shadows have shifted ever-so-slightly. I saw a single,...
5 min read


A Season of Grief
Beautiful souls, It’s been a minute! It’s been a second! It’s also been what feels like an eternity. It’s not just a case of time rushing...
5 min read
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