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Dear Woman on a Recovery Journey, Ever have an experience of creating something with a theme, a taste, a resonance in mind…and it takes on a life of its own and morphs into something quite different? Maybe the exact opposite? I’m sure you have. I suppose it’s part and parcel of any creative process. I’m on the other side of my Expand Beyond Recovery: House of Light Mountain Retreat in Spain and the experiences are completing themselves. Aside from sharing a few pics, I haven

I got my glasses on, my peace sign out and Spain on the horizon. Happy June! It's a new month and (hopefully) the beginning of a beautiful summer. Okay, first off, 2026 has been A LOT. (Do I say that every year?) Do you feel the same? Here's what I know for sure. In my 11th year of sobriety, I think I'm finally learning the meaning of surrender. I set myself up well at the end of 2025, choosing the word A L L O W for my word of the year. Right on time, at the end of January,

Recovery, capacity, and trusting the path as it unfolds. Today is Tuesday, February 17th. A regular, old Tuesday in the month of February…or something more? Today is a new moon in Aquarius. And a solar eclipse. And a shift in the Chinese Zodiac, from Year of the Snake to Year of the Fire Horse! The latter transition alone, is all over social media, interpretations speeding in both directions, messages for the individual and the collective. I’ve had this date marked on my cal

Another year is coming to a close. I see the light peaking in from underneath the door. A hint of something new, like a wish turning over in its sleep, bedclothes rustling. The sound of awakening. If you've been around in any of my spaces, you know I love nothing better than a fresh start. I've had to temper this desire over the years as it's had me abandoning creations before I got to the actual creating. Starting over is a practice that's served me well. .. in most cases. T

Recovery is such a journey! I've been on this one for 13 years, 11 of them sober and when I look back and see the path, it's amazing to think I had NO IDEA how I was going to live my life without alcohol. I had NO IDEA how to cope with life...how to be in relationship. When I reflect on the last 13 years, I see all the growth, the choices I've made, the sparkly breadcrumbs I ended up following, the times I said "HELL, YEAH" and the tears - the work, the toil, the discomfort a

It's been a while since I've offered up any of my usual writing on recovery and life...even my website app is reminding me. "It's been...

There are a few common themes woven through the experiences of recovering women. Women recovering from "all the things" as we like to say...

I gave birth to my baby boy. Well, I was supposed to give birth. That wasn't in the cards for me. Greyson was almost 9lbs and my...

It’s the second week of March and I am sitting at my desk in front of the window on the second floor of my townhouse, taking in the...

Oooooweeee! It’s been a CRUNCHY winter so far! Where I live? SO. MUCH. SNOW. And the sound of it under my winter boots, the iced-locked...

I graduated high school in 1985. 40 (yes, 40!) years ago. I’ve tried to recall what 18-year-old Payton thought her future would look like...

It's been just over a week since I landed back at home from hosting my retreat at La Anita Rainforest Ranch in Northern Costa Rica. I'm...

I’ve been riding the waves lately. But not in the way I used to. For much of my life, I’ve been the person on the heaving boat, hurled...

I’ve been thinking a lot about self-compassion lately and have come to the realization that for most of my life, I’ve avoided it. Why?...

A dear co-facilitator and friend gave me a card at a recent retreat. It says: Fill your lungs up with life and repeat after me: I am...

My son wakes up at either 2am, 4am or both every night. Each time I guide him back to his bed and tuck him in. He is up again at 6am and...

Perfectionist. When I call this word to mind, my body tightens up. When I say it, I enunciate every syllable. I stand straighter and my...

I have always been a lover of words. Stories, poems, lyrics…the power of words has been visceral for me at times in my life. I remember a...

Detail from my recent "snake collage", created on retreat. Change is such a multi-level experience. I thought I’d rolled around enough in...

This weekend, after a period of intensity in my life, I felt some spaciousness. I moved, I danced. I found myself in the present moment....